Cheap vs living within your means

Recently I was visiting a friend of mine. In the course of our conversation, she kept using the adjective cheap referring to the fact that I was cheap. Cheap or cheap skate refers to a mean or stingy person. I felt bad and then finally I pointed out that just the sport coat that I was wearing was about $550 and she shut up. It was an uncharacteristic reaction from my end considering that I do not try to alter how somebody perceives me. For one it is a waste of time and you really don't know if that act infact changed their perception of you.

What really mattered, matters and will matter to me was how I felt about myself. I am conservative with my finances. I live within my means. I don't believe in paying a car loan and try to save as much as possible. I am this way because of my dad. He started from scratch just with his degree was very disciplined saved up as much as possible and invested it to the best of his ability. He did all of this so that his children and wife could have a better life.He was a giant success.

Unfortunately on several occasions, he was misunderstood and people thought he was cheap. This could have been because of his wardrobe which was not up to the mark or he was against me buying a Hercules top gear bicycle. But, let us consider those situations, he was against buying new clothes because the old ones were still good to wear and a bicycle is a depreciating asset and in his mind was not worth the extra thousand rupees. The other thousand could be put to a better use. However, the very same people who criticized him when he was making and standing by those decisions conveniently neglected the fact that he spent money taking us on vacations all over India, spent money on hindi classes for years that developed our personalities and improved our knowledge of our own country.

I am exactly the same with my finances. When I graduated from college, I did not go to a car dealer and buy myself a $20K car. I bought a $600 bicycle that I rode for 2 years in rain and shine and built up my savings. I don't make $100K a year like some of my lucky friends. However, I did save half my after tax income for 2-3 years. This helped me spend about $40K to get a house and a decent car. I did all these while giving gifts to friends during christmas, going kayaking and doing many more fun things and enjoying my life. So now tell me am I cheap or a man with a plan who is living within his means? I know the answer. So, am I going to worry the next time someone calls me cheap? I don't think I will waste time or worry if my efforts infact changed their perception of who I really am.

Everybody is waiting for something

Amelia: I've been waiting for a phone call

Amelia: for seven years.         

Amelia: I know it's coming, Viktor.

Amelia: That's why I can't break it off. That's why I live out of hotels and have
my little suitcase packed, ready to go, 

Amelia: just in case

he wants to meet me for the weekend.                   

Amelia: Yeah.                   

Amelia: I've been waiting my whole life.             

- Just don't know what the hell for.

- [pager vibrates]                

Amelia: I'm so sorry.               

Viktor: I live here.                   

Amelia: What?

Viktor: I live here, in terminal.                 

Gate 67.                  

Amelia: You live at the airport?

Viktor: Yes. Day and night.            

Viktor: This home, like you.

Viktor: They tell me to wait. So I wait.                   

Amelia: All frequent fliers feel the same way you do, Viktor. 

Amelia: Everybody's waiting. Everybody.

This was a dialog from the movie The Terminal. A very matter fact statement, but it has a very deep meaning. 

There is a similarity  between our lives and what was happening to Viktor Navorski in the movie. We all have an end goal in our life. We may not know it yet, but trust me at some point of time we all have that aha moment and say to ourselves "This is it. This is what I want. Nothing else matters".

Just like Viktor went to the customs official and tried to go the NY city, we work towards our goal. While working towards the goal, we make friends, help them out and sometimes even be the robin hood. But beneath all this surface water there is a deep under current, our goal in life. This explains why we do the things we do and why we move ahead in the direction we do. This is what makes a person tick. If we can get an understanding of this deep under current, we can say with confidence the type of person he is.

But, till the end goal is achieved everyone has to wait or as Amelia says "everybody's waiting. Everybody".

Attachment and replacement

I have lived 4 years of my undergraduate life in hostels. Then I moved to the USA, where I have been living for over six years. But, I have missed something all this time that was brought to my attention recently.

You may have heard a million quotes about change and how we must embrace it and grow. But, really the tougher changes like living so far away from mom and dad or getting dumped by a girl puts us in a situation where, we want to replace or put someone in that position so that we can continue to reap the benefits of that relationship. Sounds very selfish but it is the truth. I have been driven by such urges at several points in my life.

I guess the right thing to do when I find myself saying "Oh my childhood had this" or "I wish she / I had never broken up" is to remind myself that nothing can ever equal what we experienced with our mom, dad or exes but we sure as hell will find newer experiences with a lot of other nice people.

No more "Good things have end sometimes for better things to take their place" crap.

schroedingers cat

If a cat is put in a bunker with some unstable gun powder. There is a 50% chance that the gun powder may explode and there is a 50% chance that it may not. By extension there is a 50% chance that the cat may die and a 50% chance that the cat is alive. However, it is not both. Unless we open the bunker and look we do not know if the cat is alive or dead.

So, lets see how this principle works in real life.

Scenario 1: Cute girl
There was a cute girl in school. If you went up to them and said a "Hi" make up a conversation then there is a 50% chance that it may work out and a 50% chance that it may not work out.

Scenario 2: Work to bring up a start up
A friend of yours works at a startup and invited you to come work for him and contribute. If you went and worked there is a 50% chance it works and a 50% chance it may not.

and so on.......

My point is there is a 50% chance that things may work out and a 50% chance things may not work out. But, if you don't put the cat in the bunker, don't talk to that cute girl, don't take up the offer from your friend etc. you lose the 50% chance of success.

Everything said and done, a soul's purpose on earth is to experience and learn things. Why won't you not do it? Why won't you not put the cat in the bunker?

Work hard now...you can have fun later

If you are an Indian, you must have heard this from your folks. Work hard now, so that you can have fun later. But, honestly tell me when is later?

When I was in school, I was too consumed about studies. Then, I was too consumed with getting a job and now I am too worried about keeping it. So, Life is what happens when we are busy making plans for it....Maybe....that sucks

Sucky weekends

TGIF...bah....humbug...For the last few months my weekends follow the same pattern. I sleep until 11 AM or 12 noon and while away the rest of the day doing mundane stuff like watching some chic flicks on the TV. Then on Sunday I spend time by the canal behind my house in the morning and have my breakfast there and I speak to my parents, clean my place, wash my clothes and sleep off early because I have work the next day. In a scale of 1-10 in the suck-o-meter, 1 being the lowest and 10 the maximum suckiness, I think my weekends get a 11. This weekend it got so monotonous, that I began to think that if I could work on the weekends, maybe I will not feel so bored. But, in my opinion this is really a bad idea.

The famous Indianapolis quarterback Peyton Manning once said, that one works hard in college to be a top round draft pick and the same one has to work even harder to be successful at the NFL. I think it is true for all careers. Work hard in college to get a entry level job and work even more harder, once you are in it to be successful. But, in this cycle of working harder and harder it would be a mistake to neglect the two wood-cutter story.

There was a lumber company which had a wood cutter who used to cut 9 trees a day. After sometime, there came along another employee who could do 10 trees a day. Frustrated, the first employee tried to cut more trees by cutting down on the break hours. But, the other employee took his usual breaks and still ended up cutting more trees.

The old wood cutter got even more frustrated and asked advise from his boss. The boss suggested he observe what the new guy did for a whole day. The older one agreed and observed the new guy for a day. He found that the new employee actually took the time to sharpen his tools during the breaks. This improved his effectiveness.

I think little fun during the weekend is what the sharpening was to the tools. I feel that I perform better, when I take small breaks and do some fun activity and then get back to work again. It helps me concentrate better and do well.

What the f@#$??? I still have not got anything interesting planned for the next weekend....God save me!!!!!!!!

McNabb effect

Donovan McNabb until this afternoon is the quarterback of the NFL team Philadelphia Eagles. He has led the Phillies to 8 playoff appearances in his 11 seasons there. He also holds every meaningful franchise passing record. But, not winning the ultimate prize the super bowl just means that McNabb may be shipped out of Philly. Sad ending to a good career stint at Philly.

NFL reporters and analysts say sources close to McNabb have not taken this issue too badly. But, I find it hard to agree with these people.

My Dad was vice president (finance) at FFE minerals. In 2008, they merged with their cement division in India and just when my dad thought he would be made the CFO, they bought in another young guy. The younger guy did not like the minerals group still reporting to my dad and a power struggle ensued. Finally, my dad had to resign.

The situation is very similar to what McNabb is facing. Just as McNabb ensured a playoff berth to Eagles, my dad ensured profitable operation of the minerals group for years and was adept in accounting and inventory laws. The wants of the young Michael Vicks and Kevin Kolbs to start could be compared to the power hungry young guy at FFE minerals. The high salaries my Dad and McNabb were due made matters worse.

During the whole episode I was mad at the leadership at FFE minerals. In my opinion, they just squeezed the best out of my dad and now wanted to be done with him. A@# $%^&s!!!!. I am sure there maybe many people in McNabb's camp now that may be fuming and fretting at the eagles organization.

However, my dad joined SANMAR group and is now serving as one of SANMAR's financial heads. Good for him. I just hope at this point that McNabb finds his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

My prayer to God is that if I am ever in such a situation later in my career...Pls give me the strength to face it....